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This should have been his 70th birthday and we should have posted silly nonsense about how he only gets better with age. Cancer is horrible. My thoughts are with Rima and his loved ones today and all of you who may not have known him on a personal level but certainly cared for him and feel the void of his absence.

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10 days later and I'm still reeling from the sudden loss of our velvet voiced star.

I manage to read something new (to me) every day of a prominent actor (or virtual unheard of person) singing Alan's praises. Publicly he was "only" an actor, that's the only reason we'd heard of him, right? But he was obviously so much more than simply an actor.

I have quite a few things to do now that I'm back from my trip but I will try to put a post together of collective quotes from various artists honoring and praising the man himself. (It's nice to read, as opposed to heartless headlines of articles written that invariably only mention Die Hard, Love Actually, and Harry Potter, no mention of theater, directing, or more importantly, the meatier indie movies.)

For now I leave you with more photos.

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Today I am flying out to meet a friend I met 13 years ago on livejournal. We grew close and have always kept in contact since we met but due to our lives and the many miles that seperate us we have never met in person. It's been planned for months and I can't help but think it's poetic. Everything happens for a reason. She too is a fan of Alan and the fact that I'm getting to see her has helped me focus on something else.

Thank you all for tolerating my personalish posts here these last few days. It means the world to me and I hope we all have people in our lives, in one way or another, who are helping us through this deep sadness.

I said I'd be sharing more pictures here and I have a few for you today, before I leave for the airport.

For the past two days my pandora has played this song several times. I've never heard it on my playlist before.

(I should note, last night it was Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here followed by Norman Greenbaum Spirit in the Sky followed by Rolling Stones - Miss You. It made me smile.)

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an article and couple of pictures

I don't read the news and I definitely don't often check it. On the morning Alan passed away in London I was across the globe in my bed in Southern California and woke up to several missed calls, text messages, and many messages on social media. None of them informing me directly, just asking me if I was doing all right, had I heard. One of them actually had the name Alan Rickman in them. (No sentence, just his name.) I thought, oh no no no. That's got to be false. It wouldn't be the first time someone frantically informed me of something only for me to debunk it's truth swiftly. Unfortunately, of course, I was wrong. It was a really shitty way to find out but I don't imagine I can think of a better way really. It was going to be crap no matter what. And here we are now, 4 days later, and it feels like it just happened. So I am still checking the news, as I have every day since that day, hoping to read something uplifting I guess.


I saw this view of Kate Winslet at an awards ceremony of some kind and thought she was lovely and I would share. Her sentiment about the ceremony sums up how I feel about lots of things. (How can I be expected to care about the state of my hair or what we're going to make for dinner? Alan has died.)

It's surreal but my lj community, as well as friends on various social media outlets, has really made this a lot easier for me and it is appreciated. We're on the same wave length and shared pain is easier to bear than suffering alone.

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